How to Apply the Attract and Seduce 4-Step System

Way before I started teaching seduction, I studied martial arts. My teacher was awesome – a guy who could walk into any school of martial arts, watch them move and apply their techniques to himself. He was never shy about how he did it. The key was in his understanding of two particular words. Hearing the two words over and over again, and understanding their meaning, significantly changed my life. Here are the two words:

 Principle
 Technique

So, what’s the difference? Why are these two words so important? Well, if you understand their importance and meaning in the context of learning an art form, they make learning anything much easier.

A principle is universal. That means a principle of attraction and seduction holds true no matter who’s doing the attracting and seducing or what realm of seduction you’re playing in: Business, Politics, or Romance.

For example, if the principle of starting a conversation is “make the person or group comfortable” then that holds true whether you’re a woman seducing a man, or a man seducing a woman. It holds true in romantic seductions, business seductions, and political seductions. The principle always remains the same; techniques, however, differ from situation to situation.

In martial arts, there’s no one punch that wins all fights. In seduction, there’s no one technique for making friends with everyone, or getting the woman of your dreams into bed. Techniques are expressions of their respective principles and are meant to be used for specific times and places.

The key in martial arts and seduction is the same: You practice techniques to gain a better understanding of the underlying principles. That means if you want to learn attraction and seduction, practice the techniques, but always keep the principles in mind. You may intellectually understand the principle, but that’s not the same as experiencing the principle. Techniques help you learn the principles through experience. That’s why you practice them.

So, later on, when I teach you about starting conversations, I’m going to teach you the principle and then some techniques. The techniques I offer in this guide are foolproof for very particular situations. They’ve been thoroughly tested and are great for you to practice.

How to Practice Attraction and Seduction Techniques:

Attraction and seduction is a skill set like any other, meaning it requires practice. This guide has all the lessons for you to learn the skill, but you’re going to have to put the time in to practice it. I even have a practice schedule up for you, if you want to see what a good week of practice is like.

The World is Your Dojo:

Unlike martial arts, there are no physical schools for learning attraction and seduction. We don’t have dojos or playing fields to practice on. But we still have a classroom of sorts. Every place you choose to practice, whether it be a nightclub, a coffee shop, a shopping mall, or the beach is your classroom. Treat it as such, when you practice:

 Don’t get drunk.
 Have a study plan.
 Do your homework.
 Treat the place with respect.
 Plan regular hours to practice.

For years I’ve been hearing the same thing about practice. “Doing all this new stuff makes me feel weird around my friends.” Here’s a suggestion: Don’t practice around your friends.

Think of it like this: when you go to a sport practice, you don’t bring all your friends who aren’t interested in the sport to practice with you. It would be weird if they were there, and they probably wouldn’t have a good time. You have to think of this art just like practicing any other; only practice with other people who are interested in learning this art form. If no one else is interested, practice on your own.

5 Things A New Student Can Do To Prepare for Their Seduction Education

I imagine that if you’re reading this you’re ready to put a whole lot of energy into the art form. That’s great! Here are a few ideas for new students to help you before you even start:

1. Set time aside: This is going to be the most important step for any newbie. Set time aside on a calendar that you know will be solely used to practice whatever material you’re learning. I suggest, at minimum, one day a week, for three hours. For guys practicing in bars and clubs, do it stone cold sober.

2. Practice material: Find the material you like and practice it. This is vital in the early stages. You need something solid to work on. Don’t just jump into sets with people doing the same old thing you’ve always done. I suggest an opinion opener like Cashmere Sweater or Drunk-I-Love-You to start. Practice something new, something that takes you out of your comfort zone. As our coach Jonny Cruz says, “Get uncomfortable.”

3. If you need a push, buy one: There are two ways you can do this. The first is to go out with a friend, hand him a $200 bill, and have him return $20 for every approach you make. The second is to take a boot camp. I suggest the Stylelife Bootcamps, because I teach for Stylelife and because our boot camps are awesome. Sometimes, you just need a kick in the ass. Tryst.dating is here to give you that kick in the ass, possibly a few.

4. Read and write more: You’re going to want to improve your verbal capacity; reading and writing are the best way to do that. So, pick up at least one book a month and read it. Get in a writing habit, because you’re going to have to write field reports: detailed descriptions of what happens each night you practice. It is truly rare to see a student get good at this without writing things down.

5. Get a wingman and practice with a friend: Many of my students like to go out and practice in pairs, as wingmen. It can be fun and helpful to have a friend around. Here’s how you can make the most of practicing with a friend:

 Pick your practice – Decide what you’re going out to practice. It should be something specific, like an opener or a routine. Before you
go out, make sure you both know what you’re going to be working on and make a plan.

 Know your material – Before you go out, make sure you understand what kinds of routines, openers, and stories you each like to tell. Let your partner know where you’re at in your practice. Are you working on opening? Are you working on Seeding Dates? Are you working on building value? You and your friend should be clear about what you know and what you’re practicing.

 Reward Motivation – This is a technique to help motivate you when you’re out with a friend. Give your friend $100 and for each approach you make, he gives you back $20. Let’s say you have three hours to approach five groups of people or individual women or he keeps the remaining money.

 Approach Alone – When making approaches, one guy should walk up and then the wing should follow once the first person has started the conversation. Two guys walking up to a group together makes it more obvious that you’re there to hit on them, and our goal is to be subtle. So, walk up alone, then have your friend approach once you’ve progressed from the opener to conversation.

 Secret Codes – Sometimes you’re going to want to communicate with your wingman without saying something out-loud. By the way, many women are masters of communicating in code with their friends on a girl’s night out.

I suggest creating a code that you can use to communicate simple messages. Here’s an example of a code I used to use when my friend approached:

• • If I point with one finger when my friend approaches, it means that’s the woman I’m interested in. This lets him know to steer clear of her while helping to build comfort with her friends.
  • If I point with two fingers, it means that I can’t remember the person’s name. It’s his cue to introduce himself to that person, and ask their name.
  • If I point with three fingers it means, I’d like him to help me politely eject from this group. There are some conversations you don’t want to be in, and sometimes it can be tough to leave. Having a friend come over and say, “Hey, you need to close out your tab,” or something similar can allow you to leave without being rude.

Debrief Afterwards – This is probably the most important part of working with a friend. Either when you get home or the next day, sit down with your friend and go over what you did wrong and what you did right. Start to plan out your next practice session based on your debrief sessions.

Respect Your Wingman Friend – Some guys like to tease each other relentlessly. This is great for when you’re hanging out together, but not for attraction and seduction. When you and your friend are in a group together, you should always be propping each other up, never tear each other down. In addition, don’t let other people tear your partner down. Stand up for him and make sure he stands up for you. You’re in it together.

One of the most powerful symbols that you’re an interesting person is that you have interesting people around you. People who are not only fun to be around, but people who are just as interesting as you are.

Picture this: You’re out at a bar or club and you approach a woman. You’re the wing tonight, so you introduce your buddy and let everyone in the group know that he’s an amazing guy. You just made him interesting, but you didn’t do anything for yourself, right?

Wrong.

In fact, you’ve just totally set yourself up to be a super cool guy, because you convey respect for someone you care about. While you’re giving social value to the guy you’re winging for, you’re also creating high social value for yourself in this situation. After all, if you’re with this totally awesome dude, how awesome does that make you?

Pretty awesome.

This applies basically everywhere in life. Whether you’re out at a bar or club, or just meeting people at a business conference or even trying to make new friends when you move to a new city. If you’re around people who are interesting, people are going to assume that you’re interesting yourself. If you introduce others as being fascinating, interesting people, others are going to want to know what you’re hiding under your hat.

So, as a conclusion for this chapter, I want you to go find a wingman, share and discuss what you want to learn first and then go out.

See you in the field!