I Don't Know if I Was More Bothered or Excited When She Started to Lick Her Lips

In central Europe, a signal such as the one you described means sexual availability, but the gesture has different meanings in different parts of the world. Basically, it is a ritualized form of licking. The tongue is put out very quickly with a brief licking motion either in the air or to the lips.

The gesture is used often in primitive societies, sometimes with and sometimes without the sexual overtones.

It may be an innocent flirting gesture or a more explicit sexual signal. Men will use it to women and women to men.

As for the origin of lip licking, it probably is related to the social grooming we see in animals. Many animals groom by licking their partners, and sometimes the licking becomes a part of erotic foreplay. In the few primitive societies left in the world, we find a similar pattern.

The tongue licking, possibly derived from tongue grooming, has come to mean a promise of erotic pleasure.

In our relatively rigid sexual setup, it offers all sorts of forbidden oral delights.

In America, the gesture is not very common in heterosexual circles, although Marilyn Monroe turned on an entire nation of men by using it, and it is still employed on the level of prostitution and readily available sex.

It is less common with the average woman. When they do use it, it’s often unconscious and it is a much slower licking of the lips, as if over some very tasty morsel of food rather than as a conscious sexual come-on.

Among male homosexuals, the signal is very common in pickups. It is often used by older men toward younger ones, and it suggests, among other things, the acceptance of a passive sexual role.

Your own reaction to it, a mixture of being “bothered” and “excited,” probably comes from a sort of cultural shock rather than from ignorance of the signal. On a subconscious level, you were aware of the sexual overtones in the gesture. You must have been both attracted and repelled by the obviousness of the invitation.