Texting and Phone Calls before the First Date

As you learned in the last chapter, you can reduce women flaking on you by seeding a date. The better you get at it the less likely it is that a woman will not respond to you or stand you up. That said, do you text or call a woman once you have her phone number?

The good news is that if you’ve seeded a date, you’ve done almost all of the heavy lifting already. Here are my simple rules for texting and calling after you seeded your date:

Rule #1: Use the phone for logistics, not flirting, not joking, not sending pictures, asking for pictures, or anything else.

You want to build your emotional connections in person, not over the phone. Text flirting comes later, once you have built a solid foundation of rapport, trust and inside jokes. So once you’ve set up the date or received the phone number, you’ll simply send her a text or call her the day before the meet-up and figure out how you’re getting there, the address of your meeting, and anything else they’d need to know to make getting there easier.

Rule #2: If you forgot to seed the meet-up, still use texts and calls for logistics.

Always keep in mind that the best way to establish a true emotional connection is in person. If there is no connection, trust, and rapport yet, your texts may come off as annoying. Any text you send or phone call you make should be focused on inviting them to meet-up at the location you’ve seeded before.

Here’s an example:

“This Thursday, I’m headed to this great bar with a few friends, thought you might enjoy the venue. Let me know if you’re interested, and I’ll send you the details.”

Some more ideas about places to invite them:

• Find a place they’ll truly enjoy or find interesting.
• Find a place that you’ll be comfortable enough to carry on a good conversation.
• Try to find a place that’s outside the ordinary, a place they haven’t been before.

Now, what happens if you seeded a date and they flake?

Well, you have to remember, people have lives, and no matter how good you get at the art of attraction and seduction, you never know what can happen in another person’s life.

Okay, so let’s say you set up a date, and over the week she sends you a bunch of texts. How do you respond?

First, it depends on what she says, but your goal is to build a connection in person, which means as little texting as possible.

If it’s a flirty text or someone recalling the events of the night you met her, I suggest a very short response. Acknowledge them, but don’t have a conversation. Save it for the date.

If it’s a no-nonsense text – meaning she’s contacting you about logistics, work, or something important – reply by text or call her to discuss it.

If you decide to text her anyway, especially after the first date, use those tips to create attraction.