I'm Too Shy to Tell Her How Much She Means to Me

Studies have shown that when we like someone, or are interested in someone, we tend to look at them more often. We signal our likes and dislikes with our eyes.

Literature is full of expressions that confirm this. “Her eyes never left his face.” “He devoured her with his eyes.” “He couldn’t see enough of her.” And so on. These expressions all stress the fact that when you like someone you look at them as much as you can. The opposite is often true, too. The less you like some one, the more you avoid looking at them. “I couldn’t bear to look at her. I couldn’t meet his eyes.”

Of course, anyone can learn to fake this very simple signal and give the impression of caring for someone who doesn’t matter. We all know people who can literally hang on our every word, staring at us as we talk. If they do it skillfully, they signal “I really like you!”

If a long, steady stare bothers the other person, then the looking can be done for several short periods of time, breaking eye contact between each. The total effect is very different from the rude, prolonged stare a curious stranger sometimes gives you.