What to Say to a Girl

These can be used in any seduction environment or on a date.

Beginner

• That’s pretty cool…for a girl!
• Don’t worry, I still like you!
• You’re like a H.E.R.D…..a Hot N.E.R.D! [said to a student / geeky girl]
• was the name of my first girlfriend, painful memories,…I was five, she was six…she left me for an older guy who had a BMX!
• We’re never going to get along!
• You get a point for that….if you get to 10 points you win a prize!
• You can be my personal bodyguard…my mum told me Spanish girls were tough!
• If you were walking any slower you’d be going backward!
• Oh, so you’re one of THOSE girls!

Intermediate

• That’s pretty funny…for a girl!
• You’re so cute, it’s sickening!
• I think I’m falling in love with you, it’s sickening!
• I’m a lover, not a fighter….but I’m pretty good at both 😉
• [when she says something stupid] It’s a good thing you’re pretty!
• You want to take this outside?!
• I like you, you’re fun…but don’t get a big head!
• I feel like I’m talking to my future ex-wife!
• I can imagine you at work keeping the troops under control like a dominatrix! [make the sound of a whip cracking]
• I can imagine you looking glamorous and hard working in the office, but secretly chatting to guys on Tinder and updating your Twitter!
• Wow, that’s cool….you get permission to cook me dinner!
• You’re hired…when can you start?!
• You’re fired…collect your things and go!
• We’re getting divorced!
• [when she tells you her name] Do you know what that means in Welsh? Absolutely nothing!
• Whoa whoa, slow this down…! [when she’s speaking quickly]
• Alright, you’re losing me…!
• You can dress ‘em up but you can’t take ‘em anywhere!
• Are you rich?! Because I want to be a stay-at-home husband!
• Ah, a princess I see…! [if she says something self-centered]
• I can’t take you anywhere!
• You are such a loser!
• Ok mum…! [if she tries to give you advice]

Experienced

• This is the LAST time I let you out unsupervised!
• [to something she says]….whatever!
• So who the hell are you?! [big grin needed]
• You don’t get out much, do you?!
• Every time you touch it’s $10, do you want to start a tab?! [when she touches you]
• [when she tells you where she’s from] Ughh! [Screw up your face in mock disgust]
• You’re gonna pay for that!
• I bet you have a really cute side somewhere, you just don’t show it!
• You’re cool….despite what everyone else says!
• Playfully flip-the-script and imply the girl is hitting on you or being naughty.

Beginner

• My mother warned me about girls from Paris…cute but dangerous!
• My mother warned me about lawyers…cute but dangerous!
• You look like you’re running away from the police!
• You’ve got such a guilty look on your face like you’ve done something naughty….like stealing a biscuit from your mum’s cookie jar!
• You look like trouble!

Intermediate

• Hmmm…silent but violent!
• Wow, I can’t even talk to you now!
• Mental note…never date this girl!
• Cute & feisty, I like it!
• Easy tiger!
• Slow down, I’ve only just met you!
• I feel so used now!
• We can have fun but please don’t touch!
• Let’s take this slowly…I don’t want to get hurt!
• You’re not one of those stalker types, are you?

Experienced 

• You’re undressing me with your eyes, I feel violated!
• I’m not just a piece of meat!
• Stop looking at me like that….licking your lips….I’m not on the menu!
• Are you looking at my arse?!
• You’re pretty…and evil! [said with a big grin]
• You’re looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheeseburger!
• I need trust, comfort & connection….right now all we have is lust!
• Just because I flirt doesn’t mean I put out!
• Don’t get your hopes up, I’m not that easy!
• Stop being attracted to me….I’m only attracted to fat white girls!

Following the golden rule of flirtation: say what you see and twist it!

Beginner

• I’m from the fun police…you’re not allowed to have that much fun!
• I love how dreamily you were ambling down the street…. either you’ve just meditated or you’re high!
• I love how you were flying down the street like you were on a mission to save the world like Superwoman!
• I love how you were multi-tasking as you walked along, checking your phone and wearing those heels….I tried it but ended up in hospital!
• Are you trying to break a world shopping record?! [if she has lots of bags]
• Intermediate
• No yawning allowed, I’m going to report you! [opener if you spot this]
• No smiling allowed, I’m going to report you! [opener if you spot this]
• I can see you’re studying hard….using Facebook! [opener for cafe]
• You’re distracting me from the art! [opener for art gallery]
• Don’t jump…somebody loves you! [opener if she’s on a bridge]

Experienced

• Do you know, the size of your heels is the size of your boyfriend’s…..personality 😉
  Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone, it’s our dirty secret! [if she trips, falls, drops something]
• Making fun of yourself or showing off in an obviously ironic way. Needs practice.

Intermediate

• I’m very shy, I usually just talk to video gamers online and collect stamps!
• I’m looking for love…my mother never hugged me as a child!
• I spend all day in a dark room on the internet looking for Thai brides!

Experienced

• It’s hard to be a sex symbol…sometimes I wish I was ugly!
• What did you do before you met me?!
• I’m lazy…a typical guy….I just like red meat, whiskey and hot girls!
• Everyday I look in the mirror and I ask god…why did you make me so perfect?!
• Today I was on a bus and I saw this amazingly good looking guy go past…better than Beckham…then I realised it was my reflection!
• For situations when you’re flirting with more than one girl.

The general rule is to keep them all occupied by playing them off against each other.

Intermediate

• You’re the leader, you’re the follower!
• This is like a pop group….you look like the singer, you’re more like the dancer..etc etc.
• Who is the party animal and who is the stay-at-home good girl?!

Experienced

• You’re the angel, you’re the devil!
• Is she always like this?! [pointing to another girl with a smile]
• You can dress her up but you can’t take her anywhere! [pointing to another girl with a smile]
• Is there an off switch?! [pointing to another girl with a smile] • This is like Sex & The City…which one’s Charlotte and which one’s Samantha?!
• She’s being shy with me because she’s not forgiven me for cheating on her with the nanny after the incident she had with the pool-boy….I understand 😉 [pointing to the quiet one in the group]
• Making fun of traditional soppy dating rituals and lines to show her you’re different

Beginner

• Next time I’m going to bring you a rose and some chocolates
• I will go home and write you a 25 page love poem
• I will go home and sit in a dark room, crying about being apart from you

Intermediate

• Can you hear that? It’s the sound of my heart melting
• Do you know what material this is? [get her to feel your jacket / shirt] Boyfriend material
• I’m going to go on the internet and buy a star for you, then name it after you
• Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven!
• Do you come from Jamaica? Because you’re Ja-making me crazy!
• Your eyes are like diamonds, your hair is like a waterfall, your feet are like a penguin 😉
• I’m a nice guy…no sex before marriage….I want to save you on a white horse from all those bad guys 😉

The next level after verbal spikes is to get proficient at using physical spikes. They’re super-charged as the touch element of them immediately takes things from friendly to sexual. 

Beginner

• Start to move off as if you’re leaving then come back
• Pat her on the shoulder patronisingly
• Shake her hand and tell her she’s too strong for her size
• Pat her on the head and say “I can hear something!” over her if she’s small

• Intermediate

• See how tall she is and accuse her of cheating by measuring her heel size
• Push her into a lamp post
• Pick her up and pretend to put her into a bin
• Poke her in the side
• Arm wrestle her
• Tickle her
• Go to shake her hand and at the last minute put your hand up to your nose
• Shake your head as she’s talking in mock disgust
• Pretend you’re going to kiss her hand by reaching out for it, then at the last minute turn your hands over and kiss yours
• Reach out for her hand and spin her around
• Give her a hug and tell her “Doctors say a happy healthy adult needs 7 minutes of hugs a day”
• Pick her up around her waist and spin her around
• Step on her shoe. Say: “Oh I’m sorry, did I step on your shoe?!” Repeat.

Experienced

• Hug her and say “I hate you!”
• Squint as she’s talking as if she’s got something gross on her face
• Take her coat as if to help her on with it and throw it at her
• Do a pretend yawn as she’s talking
• Playfully punch her in the arm
• Tell her: “You’ve got something on your face….higher….left a bit …. lower …. higher ….only joking”
• Give her a mini shoulder massage and say “It’s $30 an hour, no happy ending”
• Readjust your bits under your jeans and say “it’s ok for a girl, she can hide it when she gets turned on”
• Flick her the middle finger with a big grin on your face
• Reach out for her hand, spin her around, stopping half way and saying “nice arse”
• Pick her up around her waist and spin her around, slapping her arse
• To be used on dates with a girl when you’ve got the comfort out of the way and you’re moving towards seduction, a kiss and the bounce to your/her place.
• These are a lot more physical and sexual than spikes you’d use during the day when meeting a girl, but they need a lot of practice to get the correct calibration. 
• Beginners should first just master getting comfortable building rapport on dates with tight conversational skills.

Intermediate

• I’m just going to the bathroom, but when I come back I might try and kiss you
• See those steps over there….that’s where I’m going to try and kiss you
• You know what everyone in the bar is thinking about us right now? How did a girl like that end up with such an awesome guy like him 😉
• I’m going to find you a boyfriend…how about this guy over here…bald, chubby, lots of money…perfect…come on…! [pretending to pull her over]

Experienced

• [when she goes to the bathroom] Text her “nice ass ;)”
• [slap her hand after she’s said something cheeky] Bad girl!
• Your ex-boyfriend clearly didn’t spank you hard enough 😉
• [walk behind her to next venue or in bar] Just checking out your ass 😉
• Look at that couple….[mock voice over] “Oh baby, you’re so hot…I want to cover you in jam and lick you like a puppy…!”