Why is it Easier For Us to Talk on the Phone Than When We See Each Other?
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- I’m fifteen years old, and I have this boyfriend I like very much. My problem is, I can talk to him over the phone for hours, but when we get together I always feel awkward and uncomfortable, and it’s very hard to say anything. If body language is such a big part of communication, why isn’t it easier for us to talk when we see each other? I don’t feel this way with my girlfriend. We can talk to each other over the phone or in person.
Body language adds a tremendous amount to communication, it’s true, but a conversation over a telephone can be much safer for this very reason. While you don’t see your boyfriend, he doesn’t see you either, and there is less danger in the situation and less of a threat. You can say what you please without having to watch his reaction to your words or have him watch yours.
Most adolescents still aren’t sure of their own body language, and unconsciously they’re afraid that they may send the wrong signs with the wrong meaning—or give themselves away by revealing what they really feel.
This may be one reason why you and your boyfriend are uncomfortable talking to each other face to face but have no problems with telephone talk. Join the club of thousands of other young men and women.
Teen-agers, incidentally, are not the only ones who face this problem. Many adults are more fluent and at ease over a telephone than in a face-to-face confrontation, and again the reason is usually a feeling of awkwardness about
the signals they send with their body.
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