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Does The Fact That She Wants to Stay in my Arms Mean That She Isn't Satisfied With my Lovemaking?

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  • My girl and I get along beautifully. We both like the same things, and we have fun together. Sex is great, too, but we have this one crazy problem. After she’s reached a climax, she wants me to hold her. I don’t understand this, because the sexual climax leaves me satiated. I want to lean back and relax or turn over and go to sleep. Does the fact that she wants to stay in my arms mean that she isn’t satisfied with my lovemaking?

Satisfaction exists on many levels. A person may be satisfied sexually and still want the body language message that hugging and holding sends. Most women interpret holding after sexual intercourse as a message that there is more than physical satisfaction involved and their lover is not just using them as a sexual release.

Some men also interpret hugging after the act of sex as a statement of greater involvement, and their reluctance to do it may spring less from satiation than from a fear of getting too close or of committing themselves to a relationship they’re not completely sure of. You have to examine your own motives closely to sort this out.

But there are some men and women who genuinely feel no desire for physical contact after sex—indeed, they may be troubled by it. Sometimes this reflects a problem with taking and giving love, but often it is no more than a physical preference. If the latter is the case with you, then you must use other methods to show your girlfriend that you are involved with her on more than a sexual level—if this is so.

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