There are two different types of social value generating stories. The first type is a knowledge-based story – also called a routine.
What are routines?
Routines are little social games, personality exercises, gimmicks, magic tricks, thought experiments, captivating stories, riddles, or bets that help you entertain a person or group of people.
Routines are pretty straightforward. You memorize the routine then share it with the people you’re trying to entertain. Any person, who can deliver a good routine, becomes the center of attention and Demonstrate High social Value (DHV). The more DHV routines you know, the more entertaining you can be.
The reason they work so well is that they provide a fun and energetic dynamic to the social situation. A routine has to be something interesting that raises the energy of the group and provides an entertaining element to the interaction.
Entering a group and lowering the energy level isn’t generally a good thing. You’re taking value in the form of energy. We don’t want to take energy; we want to give it or at least keep the energy level the same.
So you get an idea of what I’m talking about: Imagine you’re in a bar with friends. You’re joking and laughing having a great time and someone approaches you and your friends. He’s a little down, and so suddenly the fun you and your friends were having starts to slip away. That’s going to make you feel uncomfortable with that guy, right? You probably wouldn’t want him around for long.
Now a different story: You and you’re friends are hanging out having a good time. Someone approaches. He walks up and tells a fascinating story – something that gets everyone excited to hear more. Chances are you’re not uncomfortable around this guy and would want him to stick around. He’s adding value to the group.
These routines, when performed correctly, should add value to the group by raising the energy level and keeping the group intrigued.
The moment the group is comfortable with you enough to carry on a conversation, you’ve reached “hook point”. All value-generating routines will start after you’ve reached this hook point. In other words, routines are used after you’ve started a conversation. They’re not intended to start conversations themselves, although it’s not uncommon that someone who sees or hears you doing a routine will butt in and join the fun.
There is an endless selection of routines out there to choose from. Just to name a few: Cold Reads, Psychology Games, Bar-Cons, Magic Tricks. Having a number of different routines under your belt will help you out in the long run. The more routines you have, the more flexible you’ll be when you’re out practicing.
For example, I’ve found bar-cons to be great games to play at parties and lower-energy bars. I’ve found cold reads to benefit me anywhere that someone doesn’t have trouble hearing me, while magic tricks can be great for loud clubs, especially if the illusion is visual. Psychology games work best for me when I’m sitting with new acquaintances, like at dinner parties and social events where I already know a good amount of people.
As you practice these routines, you’ll find that your experience is a little different than mine. I have friends who can perform illusions almost anywhere and others who rely solely on cold reading. The point is, test all of them (even if that means stepping outside your comfort zone), and then decide which work better for you. Just don’t ignore them completely.
I’ve included a sample routine at the end of the chapter, but remember there are training videos in the bonus section.
Once you have a few routines memorized and have experimented with them a bit, you’ll find that sometimes they can feel like they’re a little too non sequitur.
These are interactive stories that you’re telling, and while they may be entertaining, you are not meant to be entertainment. You don’t want to feel like you’re standing on a stage performing routine after routine. You can prevent this by not doing any more than two during a single environment on the same night.
Spend some time memorizing how these routines work. The better you know them, the easier it will be to insert them into your seduction. Most of these routines are not inherently romantic, which means you can practice them on friends and family before you start using them for cold approaches.
Try not to use all the routines you know early on in a seduction. Save some of them for the date, or later on in the interaction.
Now let’s take a look at a fully fleshed out routine.
The Ring Finger Routine:
Deconstructing Knowledge-Based Value Generators
One routine that I’ve been teaching for years, and have seen work over and over again, is The-Ring-Finger routine.
Take a look at the routine I’ve laid out here. Pay attention to the structure. If you like the routine – try it out, make it yours. If you’re not interested in it, you can find more routines at the end of the chapter.
Start the routine with a story. The story should be a short explanation that gives context on the routine you’re about to present. Start with where did you learned it and why you’re bringing it up. The point of having the set up – sometimes-called a “root” – is to make things seem less random by adding context, and to provide them with some information about yourself.
Here’s an example of a set-up for the “Ring Finger” routine:
When you notice a ring on someone’s finger, point it out and say, “I have a friend who was into mythology and she taught me that the finger you wear your ring on says something about your personality. In ancient times, each finger represented a different Greek god. Praise was given to a particular god by the finger or fingers one chose to wear rings on.”
Here you’re going to play the game, perform the cold-read, or do the magic trick. Whatever skill or knowledge you think would be valuable to present at this time in conversation goes here, always after the set-up.
Continued Example for the “Ring Finger” routine:
THE THUMB: “The thumb represents Poseidon, the god of the sea. He was very independent. He was the only god who didn’t live on Mount Olympus. People who wear thumb rings are independent and don’t follow trends, preferring instead to set their own.”
THE INDEX FINGER: “The index finger represents Zeus, king of all gods, and the God of Thunder and Lightning. It’s a very dominant finger, and having a ring on that finger means you tend to be a dominant person. It shows power and immense energy.”
THE MIDDLE FINGER: “Your middle finger represents Dionysus, the god of wine and partying. He is a very irreverent God. A ring there means you do whatever you want and care little of what others think.” Give her the bird and say, “It’s like a screw you to the world when you’re wearing a ring on that finger.” (This joke always gets a laugh.)
THE RING FINGER: If she has a ring on this left-hand ring finger ask, “Is that a wedding ring or do you just wear it to keep the jerks away?” You’ll be shocked how often she isn’t married. If she’s married, you can run the routine for practice or to attract her friends – “Your ring finger is Aphrodite, goddess of love. That’s why it’s the wedding ring finger. It’s the only finger with a vein straight to the heart without branching off. When someone puts a ring on it, they’re making a direct connection with your heart.”
THE PINKY: “The pinky represents Ares, the god of war. That’s why mobsters wear pinky rings.” Ask her, “Did you buy the ring yourself or did someone give you it?” If she bought it say, “At times you’re at war with yourself; you have an inner emotional conflict. There’s something you’re not comfortable with about yourself.” If she received the ring from someone tell her, “There may be tension below the surface between you two or some unresolved problems you haven’t solved yet.”
NO RING: If she’s not wearing any rings, instead ask, “Out of curiosity – and I’ll explain why I’m asking later – when you wear rings, what fingers are they usually on?” Then you can start the routine as presented at the top.
After you have performed the routine, you’re going to make a point about its relevance and the reason you have shared it. Or use the conclusion to springboard into more conversation.
For the Ring-Finger routine, I like to use it to springboard into more conversation:
“I’m not sure if you’ve ever been around someone so much that you start picking up some of their quirks, but I always find myself looking at what rings people wear because I was around my friend so much. Have any of you had that experience before?”
Examples for other routines:
• The Cube (Watch Neil Straus on video)
• Five Questions Game (Watch Neil Strauss on video)
https://youtu.be/W92IMVy6Rbg?list=PL0HzaHMy3P7fUQ6boXzwS0x5uw5_jvkPT
Excerpt from Neil Strauss’ best-selling book “The Game” (p. 159):
So now that I’d opened the set, it was time to demonstrate value and blow Heidi out. I ran a piece I’d invented after meeting the fake sisters in Miami— the best friends test.
“I have to ask you guys: How long have you known each other?” I began.
“About six years,” one of the girls said.
“I could totally tell.”
“How?”
“Rather than explain, I’ll give you two the best friends test.”
The girls leaned in toward me, thrilled by the idea of an innocuous test. Guys in the community have an expression for this phenomenon: I was giving them “chick crack”. Most women, they say, respond to routines involving tests, psychological games, fortune-telling, and cold-reading like addicts respond to free drugs.
“Okay,” I said as if I were about to ask a serious question. The girls huddled in closer. “Do you both use the same shampoo?”
They looked at each other to decide on an answer, then turned to me and opened their mouths to speak.
“The answer doesn’t matter,” I cut them off. “You already passed.”
“But we don’t use the same shampoo,” one of the girls said.
“But you both looked at each other before you answered. See, if you didn’t know each other well, you’d keep eye contact with me. But when two people have a connection, they look at each other first and communicate almost telepathically before answering. They don’t even need to speak to each other.” The two girls looked at each other again.
“See,” I exclaimed. “You’re doing it right now.”
They burst out laughing. Big points for Style.
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