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How to Avoid the Friendzone

Why Does She Only Want to Be Friends?

It’s important to understand the psychology behind why women want guy friends. You need to know what they get out of it.

Like many women, your friend no doubt has occasional trouble with men. From time to time she argues with her boyfriends and has breakups.

But you, being such a great guy, are always there for her and willing to help her with all her problems. You’re always going to treat her well. You’re always looking after her and giving her the attention she wants.

For example:
You’re always ready to take the time to talk to her and listen to her problems and give her advice.

When you’re out with her, you pay for her drinks and buy her dinner and hold the door open and do all the other things that show her that you like her.

You’re giving her the attention that all women want, and it makes her feel good.

She doesn’t want to lose that.

She doesn’t want to change the kind of relationship she has with you. She loves the fact that she has a man in her life who pays attention to her and is always nice to her. That’s why she wants to stay friends with you.

She Doesn't Want to Get Romantic

If she wants to find a guy and have a relationship or only wants to have sex with a guy, she’s not going to do that with you.

Why not? Because she doesn’t want to ruin that cool relationship you two have.

Having a romantic relationship with you pretty much ends the friendship, and she’s not motivated to do that right now.

Her friendship with you gives her a lot of what she’s looking for. You give her loads of attention, and it makes her feel good about herself.

She Knows You're Attracted to Her

This might surprise you, but your friend probably already knows you’re attracted to her.

How? Because when you’re with her, you look like you want to ravage her. That’s not a total joke. The fact is, when you’re with her you’re giving off subtle and not-so-subtle signals that you’re hot for her. Women can pick up on these cues.

Also, you might have met her by trying to pick her up. If that’s the case, she already knows you’re attracted to her.

The truth is, it’s pretty easy for women to tell when a guy is interested in them.

Change the Situation by Changing the Dynamics

If you want your friendship to turn romantic, you need to change things up.

You need to alter the cues you’re sending out. It’s like the process of turning an ex-girlfriend back to a girlfriend. You have to break an existing pattern.

How do you do that? How do you break the pattern you’ve created with this woman?

To start, you’re going to be doing things a little bit differently when you’re speaking to her on the phone. Next time you talk to her you’re going to be busy.

Start treating her like a male friend:

When you’re talking to one of your mates on the phone, and something important comes up, you don’t ignore it and keep talking.

You excuse yourself and get off the phone. This is exactly what you need to start doing with her. The difference is you might need to create reasons you can’t talk to her.

For example:
While she’s on the phone with you rattling on about something, you’re going to break in and say something like, “listen I’ve gotta go. I’m cooking something that’s going to burn. I’ll talk to you later.”

You are the one who ends the conversation. The same thing applies when she calls to ask you to join her somewhere.

Don’t drop everything so you can meet up with her.

When a mate calls and you’re very busy you don’t drop everything you’re doing to run out and meet him, do you? Of course not. It shouldn’t be any different with her. So, you need to start treating her like you treat your male friends.

You don’t make time especially for her when you meet in a bar or a coffee shop or for dinner, or whatever. You treat her like you would a normal friend.

Begin Sending the Right Signals

After you’ve been treating her like a male friend for a while, it’s time to start sending the right signals.

When you do get together with her, you say something like, “Hey, nice to see you,” and give her a hug. But then you pat her on the back while you’re sitting with her.

You give her some attention. But if a hot girl is nearby, you have no problem looking because, after all, you’re just friends.

Since she’s just a friend, she shouldn’t object to you checking out other women. From now on, it’s okay to talk to her about hot women that you see in the environment. And it’s fine now for you to talk about the dates you’ve had.

Try not to be too obvious, like you’re trying to get a reaction from her.

But if it’s something that’s going on in your life you should casually mention it and not worry about it. Just like you would do with a mate.

Another thing to keep in mind is that you shouldn’t censor your faults just because you’re interested in her. You don’t censor your faults when you’re with your male friends, so why do it when you’re with her?

If you’re out in a bar with her, you shouldn’t be afraid to tell her, “Look at those girls. Wait there a second; I’m going to go talk to them. I’ll be right back.”

Don’t forget to ask her if she’s got any hot friends she can introduce you to, too.

By talking about your dates and other women, you’re showing her you’re a guy who’s in demand and interested in women. You’re projecting your sensuality.

Moving out of the Friend Zone

By doing these things, you’re moving away from a relationship in which she knows you want her. Now she’s not sure. She’s no longer confident that all she has to do is snap her fingers and you’ll jump through hoops.You’ve started to break the friend zone pattern.When you move away from her, like in any push-pull situation, it’s human nature that she’s going to start trying to draw you back.She might start wearing sexy clothes when you get together. Or she might drop something and bend over.She might ask you if her clothes are too revealing, or if her butt looks too big. Or she might try to make you jealous. In short, she’ll start doing things to get you to pay attention to her and think of her in a sexual way.When this happens, you should ignore it. But at the same time, you should be aware of it and keep mental notes.Now it’s time for you to start creating situations where you can begin to escalate things.You want to set up a one-on-one get together to kick things up to the next level. Create a situation where you’ve both gone out for a few drinks, and you’re both relaxed.You’re together, it’s just the two of you, and you want to escalate things physically, but in a playful way.You could say something like, “Oh, look at you, you’re so cute like this.” Or you might tickle her or you might play fight with her. Read 9 Types Of TouchingYou’re going to start to do these things that are slightly sexual and the kind of stuff that boyfriends and girlfriends do.But they’re not all the way in that direction, so they go virtually undetected. You don’t want to overdo it and scare her off. Take it slow and easy.Finally, there should be a quiet moment in the interaction where you stop and you look at each other, and you have that sexual tension.Then you can break it by giving her a very quick kiss.But then you immediately follow it up by saying, “You know what, we shouldn’t do this. This is wrong. This is so weird. We’ve been friends for a long time why would we do this?” And then you kiss her again. Then follow it up once more by saying this is bad we shouldn’t be doing this.All the while you keep moving forward and keep saying it’s wrong. By being the one that raises the objection, she’s likely to take the other side and justify it.She might start telling you why it’s okay.She might even become romantic and suggest trying a relationship.

Turn Her from Friend to Lover

You’re now putting her in the position where she’s working to get you, instead of the other way around.

In the past, you’ve been the one that’s given her all the attention.

But now you’re turning the tables and getting her to come to you. You’re getting serious traction turning the friendship into a physical relationship.

From there it’s a simple step to make her your girlfriend. It’s just more of the same, where you’re always escalating but always being the one that raises the objections. Read Turn Things Sexual

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