How To Tell If A Woman Likes You

When I was younger, one of the hardest things for me to see was when a woman was attracted to me. Let me tell you a story…

It was 4th of July and I was seventeen years old. I was hanging out with two girls, which was about 50% of the total number of women I knew back then. In addition, they were openly bisexual. I’m not exactly sure how I got them to visit me, but I did. We went to the beach to watch the fireworks and laid out the blankets. They laid next to me, each cuddling an opposite side of my skinny goth-kid body. It made me so nervous that the second the fireworks went off, I rolled them off stood up and began the walk home. They teased and touched me the whole way home.

When we finally arrived at the house, they ran up to my bedroom, and jumped on my very classy waterbed. They pulled me onto it and shut off the lights, taking turns wrestling with me. I was so confused that I stood up and flicked on the lights, and voiced my confusion: “Why’d you guys shut the lights off?”

And then? This is where the night came to an end. It was only in retrospect that I realized that I’d had an opportunity to lose my virginity in a threesome and I botched it.

Something like this may have happened to you already, but if not, then hopefully I can help you prevent it, by helping you understand the signs that women show when they’re attracted.

Here’s the #1 rule of indicators of interest: Don’t rely on just one indicator to let you know if she’s interested; look for at minimum three signs.

As you get more practice and your awareness grows you’ll start to see that the indicators have their own weight; sometimes you really only need one and sometimes you need quite a few. But for now, always look for three.

The #2 rule: Don’t make indicators up; look for legitimate ones and be confident that they have meaning. For example: “I think she looked at me from across the room,” is not a legit indicator, but if she beckoned you with her eyes and you’re sure of it, that would count. If you only think she did, then don’t count it.

I’ve laid out a few signs to look for that can indicate that a woman is interested in you. Remember, most of the time just one of these doesn’t mean she’s attracted to you – so look for a combination of the following:

She is hanging out with you

If you went on a date with you, it’s an indicator of interest. I’m not saying she’s going to sleep with you, but be confident that if she’s on a date with you, that was her choice. She could have said, “No,” or flaked, but she didn’t. Well done!

She is touching you

This can be confusing for many guys, as it was for me in my previous story. 

Some girls touch because they’re kinesthetic people and some touch when they’re attracted. Just think of it this way, if she continues to increase the amount of touching she does since she first became comfortable around you, then it’s very likely an indicator of interest.

She compliments you

Compliments come in many forms. They’re all indicators of interest. Don’t tease them about the compliment and don’t self-deprecate. Take the compliment graciously. A simple, “Thanks, I really appreciate that,” can go a long way. If you want, use the compliment she gave you to bridge into an identity story.

Body language

This is probably the hardest to decipher, and there are lessons on top of lessons about different ways that body language can convey interest. Right now, I’m just going to give you a simple tip. If you’re at a bar and you meet a girl, start telling a story. In the middle, stop and say, “Hey, I want to grab a drink, come with me for a moment and I’ll finish the story.” If she says, “Yes” then she’s interested and keeping conversation going and possibly attracted to you. If she says “no” and decides to stay with her friends, then you have more work to do.

Now the question is: what do I do once I have three indicators of interest?

It’s pretty simple. You show her that you’re interested in her too, and that’s exactly what we’ll get into in the next chapter.

The Friend Zone

Friend zone can feel like a form of rejection, and rejection feels awful. You want to have a romantic relationship with someone, but that person isn’t interested and wants to be “just friends.” I’ve been there, I’ve felt it, I understand. Personally, I don’t like the term friend zone. It describes feelings of rejection, neglect and frustration that definitely exist, and so I covered it in the guide, but I would like to take a moment to explain how the words themselves hurt the connection between one person and another.

I’ve met plenty of sad and frustrated guys who’ve said, “…then I wasted a year in friend zone.” They’ll suggest “moving on” and rejecting the friendship because the romance didn’t happen.

If someone suggests that time spent in friend zone is wasted, then they’re suggesting that time spent with the other person doing non-romantic activities isn’t valuable. They’re suggesting that the point of the interaction was love or sex and to “only be friends” is a bad thing.

Yes, the feeling of rejection sucks, but having a new friend should be a reward in itself. Friends, both male and female, who are awesome, will make you a more interesting and attractive person. More women will come into your life because the group of friends you have is large, and full of life.

I also meet guys who felt angry and entitled, the ones who think that the woman did something wrong by not reciprocating their feelings.

If your desire to get out of friend zone is based on the feeling of anger or that you are entitled, and you have hostility towards her for not returning the feeling, then you need to change your attitude. No one is obligated to return romantic or sexual interest;

Understanding that you’re not entitled to any reciprocation, and learning to empathize with people and cherish new friendships when they’re not interested in you romantically will in the end help you to become a better person and seducer. You’ll have more friends, more understanding, and in the end, you’ll be a more interesting person. Rejection sucks, but the friend zone is not, in fact, a bad place.

How to avoid the friend zone from the start

To avoid the friend zone you have to have attraction, and then use that attraction to take a bold romantic step forward when the opportunity arises.

The guys who ended up in friend zone generally had bad timing. As I’ve mentioned before, seduction is about timing, not speed. If you’re impatient, she’ll become uncomfortable and you will fail. If you’re too hesitant she’ll start to lose the spark of attraction, and begin to see you as a friend.

What this means is – when you’re in a position where you feel like you should take a bold romantic step forward, you’re better off taking the risk and going for it rather than hesitating. At least she’ll know your intentions, and let you know how she feels about you, and you won’t be stuck orbiting her in an endless cycle of stress, confusion, and desire, wondering if she’s into you or not.

Once you’re in the friend zone, any move or declaration of love won’t likely make a difference. That’s mostly how you find out you’re in the friend zone in the first place.

Getting out of the Friend Zone

Getting out of the friend zone requires you to disappear and come back a new man.

The picture she painted of you and your identity that she decided would make a better friend than lover is stuck. Fortunately, we aren’t stuck with it.

The best way to get out of friend zone, is to disappear from her life for a while and spend the time working on yourself.

Then come back – new look, new style, new attitude, and a lot more practice. The goal is to be noticeably better than before. Suddenly, you become a slightly mysterious stranger that she used to know so well. Why does this work?
Because you need time to change and improve, you need time to let the guy who became a friend fade in her mind a little, so that eventually you can return with a stronger version of your authentic identity.

During this time away you should be working on making positive changes to yourself – have some adventures, get some practice, and improve yourself, so you can come back a new man.

If you’re planning on going down this road, and the feeling of rejection is that painful, maybe take some time to meet other people, while you continue to improve yourself. You may find that there are other ways to heal your wounded ego other than the pursuit of the particular person.

To avoid the friend zone practice, practice, practice.

If you really want to avoid the friend zone then be sure to work on the fundamental principles of seduction in an attempt to create an exciting romantic encounter. Effectively creating a romantic relationship instead of a platonic one is just a matter of utilizing a lot of the same skills you’ve already learned. Open, Attract, Connect, Seduce – in that order.
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Do You Understand Her Body Language?